Bebe Rexha opens up about bipolar disorder: ‘I’m not going to be imprisoned by this’
The New York Daily News - 2/25/2020
Bebe Rexha is putting herself first.
After last year’s Twitter reveal that she has bipolar disorder, the “Me, Myself & I” singer is opening up about her mental health.
Being diagnosed with bipolar I “did kind of f--- me up for a little bit,” the 30-year-old native New Yorker told Self in a new interview, published Tuesday. “I didn’t want to think there was something wrong with me.”
The revelation followed years of Rexha not wanting a diagnosis. Afterwards, the singer said she dealt with a breakdown for a couple of days.
“That was my worst fear all my life: going crazy,” the singer, born Bleta Rexha, told the outlet. “I felt like me opening up to my fans was me finally saying, ‘I’m not going to be imprisoned by this.’ And maybe it’ll make somebody not feel imprisoned, in that moment, if they feel like they’re going through a rough time. That’s why I decided to really open up and to free myself from that.”
Like many who deal with mania, Rexha said she would spend lots of money “couldn’t control my emotions," and had trouble sitting still, while some mood swings included violent or “weird thoughts.”
“I’d be in the passenger seat of the car and I would want to open the door and jump out and just get f--king squashed,” she said. “Which is terrible.”
She called “going crazy" her “worst fear,” but explained that revealing her diagnosis via Twitter last April "was me finally saying, ‘I’m not going to be imprisoned by this.’ And maybe it’ll make somebody not feel imprisoned, in that moment, if they feel like they’re going through a rough time. That’s why I decided to really open up and to free myself from that.”
In addition to bipolar I, Rexha has been diagnosed with premenstrual dysphoric disorder, which leads to severe mood changes before one’s period.
“A day before [my period started], I would feel like my world was ending, that my life went to s--t,” she recalled.
“It’s important for me to laugh at myself sometimes, and also spread information, and normalize it," the Grammy nominee said, before tweeting Tuesday, “There is still a stigma associated with mental illness and mental healthcare. Hopefully I can make a small change.”
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